Option A: Starvation

Option B: Get out of bed, go downstairs and face cleaner

vondell-swain:

i want a shirt that says “eat or die” because at first it sounds rebellious but its just a reminder

(Source: itsvondell, via shavingryansprivates)

zestybutthole:

munchies? more like i will devour everything with a 5 mile radius.

(Source: potties)

my dad was telling me about his night and he got distracted mid sentence so he said:

‘we were having a great time drinking cock.’

before bluntly moving onto another topic

IM SCRAEMING JESUS CHRIST WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

k1mkardashian:

“i think, in general, teenage boys will fuck a pile of rocks” omfg